Ok ... this isn't about me
but about a good friend of mine. RA. I've mentioned her a fair amount
and I just want to give a shout-out to her for her interview with
Clinique today. I'm jealous and excited for her all at once! This is
where the job and the person come together in perfect synchronicity! I
so believe that she's going to discover a love that she didn't realize
she had! Maybe my jealousy comes from wanting to discover that kind of
job for myself. Maybe that's what I wish for everyone - to find the job
that is your "chocolate" (as she says).
She doesn't know it yet ... but
watch out, Moose Jaw! A woman is about to come into her own!!
DAY'S REPORT:
Habits:
- Clean Sink: yes (will be before I go to bed)
- Cups of Water: don't know
- Hours of sleep: 5h 50m
- Meds: yes
- Reading: yes (fiction)
- FoodRecord: no
- Steps:5409
Goal Advancement for today:
Nothing to mention
(E-Environment, H:Health, F:Financial, PD: Prof/Personal Development, R: Rel
ationships.)
Gratitude: Today, I'm grateful for ...
1. being part of RA's journey to this job. It is inspiring for me as well.
2.
the new job for myself. I was in touch with my new supervisor today
and it sounds like they really want me. What a good feeling! It might
be part of the game but for now, I'll feel good in thinking that I'm
wanted. It's not comparable to RA's, but it is a job where I can learn
things and enjoy my colleagues.
3.
the job that I had. I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again
because the end is in sight. I do really appreciate the people I've
worked with and I will really miss some of them. I hope I can stay in
touch with the good ones and create friendships after.
4.
being invited to the buyer's gathering on Thursday night. A great
group of people and I've always had a fun time with them. It was so
nice to be asked!!
5.
this journey of mine not being over yet. So much I want to do and
discover ... I'm grateful l still have time to do it all! I haven't
written a Bucket List yet ... .maybe it's time to do so.
Life is about beginnings and endings, about startings and finishings. I remember once a student told me studying literature was pointless. How can it be when our lives reflect story? Rising action, climax, inciting moments, dénouements. This interview? An inciting moment. Or maybe the first day of the job? Rising action ... to what? And is this the short story or is this part of a larger story that is about where I'm headed? Maybe this is all part of the rising action to something else ...
This week will be full of completions and passing off my responsibility to the person who will cover it next. It was sad to remove my name from the Organizational Chart, the one I took pride in its creation. Ah well ... I'm looking forward to the new things that will soon begin! Until then ... it's about endings first.
DAY'S REPORT:
Habits:
- Clean Sink: yes
- Cups of Water: don't know
- Hours of sleep: 7h
- Meds: yes (timer for 8:30 a good idea!)
- Reading: yes (fiction)
- FoodRecord: no
- Steps: 3887 steps (off for charging)
Goal Advancement for today:
Nothing to mention
(E-Environment, H:Health, F:Financial, PD: Prof/Personal Development, R: Relationships.)
Gratitude: Today, I'm grateful for ...
1. the people I got to know on Kearl, people that I hope our friendship will continue after I leave.
2. the three years I had on Kearl - there were times when I was bored, times when I was frustrated, but there were good times also. And any experience under my belt fortifies my confidence as I transfer into the next position.
3. for the kind note I received from one of the girls at work - it came out of the blue and it was so nice to read! So often I forget that others are watching me ... I'd rather be oblivious sometimes but moments like that, I realize that people do notice me and it's nice when I leave a positive experience with them!
4. the time I have to wrap things up. I have found that I tend to work in 'groups' - I wait until I have a bit and then I blitz through it. But that catches me in moments like this - where my tasks are in a state of incompletion. So, than goodness I have time to complete all my tasks in preparation to pass them over!
5. being able to spend time at work late. I won't be able to do that in the new place!
The day was an interesting one ... sometimes I need to think a bit more before expressing my opinions, and sometimes, it's in those moments that things come clear to me. Or at least I feel a nudge. A lot of things have been happening in this country lately (the two soldiers being killed, the talk of terrorists, a national radio celebrity suddenly being fired because of his BDSM behaviours coming to light, the Ebola crisis) ... and I do tend to get caught up in it. Add to that, the mental meanderings of self-love and what that might look like and how that touches my goals and my purpose ... and then I step back and wonder if I should get so involved with what is going on around me and just keep to my own little catastrophic world that desperately needs attention. Isn't there some way to have both? What if ... like the quote, I prepare myself to surrender all to something? And if so, what? What might be on the other side of that?
DAY'S REPORT
Habits: - Clean Sink: yes (will be before I go to bed)
- Cups of Water: don't know
- Hours of sleep: 9ish (why do I sleep through the night when I sleep on the sofa?) - Meds: yes (have set my Fitbit to buzz at 8:30 every night. The new med-time.) - Reading: am going to try to get some in
- FoodRecord: no - Steps: was charging all day so went without wearing it.
Goal Advancement for today: Nothing to mention
(E-Environment, H:Health, F:Financial, PD: Prof/Personal Development, R: Relationships.)
Gratitude: Today, I'm grateful for ...
1. getting in to work for a bit. Was not as productive as I wanted to be but at least I got the log done for tomorrow. Most important.
2. getting to talk to my nephew for a bit ... it was his birthday and I felt so bad forgetting!
3. my first experience getting a gift-card for someone via my cell phone app! that was way too easy!!
4. living in a country that has hot running water! Every time I come out of the shower, there is a rush of gratitude.
5. that I have opinions while at the same time being curious about others. I am grateful for the way I think ... with all that is happening, it's so easy to jump on one side or the other without remaining someone open and skeptical to both sides simultaneously. I am always thinking "I want to hear more." How others deal with it is their choice ... I just know, for me, that when I take a stand, I have to know what and why I'm standing on this spot.
I read the quote on the side on a friend's FB wall today. And I had a conversation with my friend RA. The two overlapped to the point that almost made me sick. I wondered the other day what is being taught within the confines of the terrorist cells to lead the follower to hate that much, and now I see what is being taught within the confines of our world that teach us a similar message. We are as we are because we are taught so, because we are encouraged to, because we are told so, because it surrounds us in oh, so many little messages! On the wall of my cousin, she posted a picture that says: "If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself." All of this tells us that we are to make our lives about our self, we are to have our ego stroked, we are to live in a bubble that feeds my needs and hedonisticly serves my arrogant entitlement. If something in my world does not, it is to be removed - through unfriending, through badmouthing you / bullying you / calling you names / deleting you / killing you. And don't challenge me, don't make me think, don't disagree with me, don't talk to me about something I don't agree or believe in ... because you, then, are the one , again, to be cast out. We do not know how to disagree, we do not know how to discuss, we do not know how to love ... because we no longer love ourselves. We are obsessed with ourselves but we do not love ourselves.
Rant done ... for now.
DAY'S REPORT
Habits:
- Clean Sink: yes
- Cups of Water: 4
- Hours of sleep: 7ish
- Meds: yes
- Reading: no
- FoodRecord: no
- Steps: 4088
Goal Advancement for today:
Some cleaning, but not really counting that.
(E-Environment, H:Health, F:Financial, PD: Prof/Personal Development, R: Relationships.)
Gratitude: Today, I'm grateful for ...
1. Getting my blood work done! At one point, I thought I had gone to the wrong place, but then they called my name. whew!
2. Getting all the meds and remembering the supplements my doc wants me to take. My med intake just went up from 2 meds to 6 meds. And with the new dispenser (thanks to RA's suggestion), I have them all set out for the following week!
3. the wonderful discussions I had with RA today. They were scattered throughout the day but served to inspire me, to challenge me, and to make me think. There is a person ... she and I have definite differences in our beliefs, and yet we can find common ground and share in that. We can also discuss our differences and learn from each other. I always appreciate so much when she talks to me about her beliefs that are different than mine and when she lets me ask her questions! It helps me understand where she is coming from, it helps me appreciate our differences and it helps me love her as she is because she shares with me who she is.
4. the mess in my place ... odd to be grateful for something that is driving me nuts. But that's the reason I am grateful for it. I'm having a harder and harder time being complacent about it because I know I can do something about it ... what's more, I know how to do it. That, in itself, is a basket full of gratitude!
5. beautiful fall days that continue on ... they say we are to be getting snow tomorrow, so the beauty of the day today was not lost on me! I'm sure there will still be a few more; even though most 4the leaves have fallen, the day can still be beautiful!
6. Bonus for today!! ... for the books I have. I almost bought 2 more today (they would be excellent to read), but held off for now ... there are a few that I want to read first, and incorporate their messages into my life. I love to read ... I don't do it enough! (as can be seen by my count!) Change is slow ... but every step in the right direction is a step out of the rut!
I get the chance to begin again! To start over! The job downtown is mine! How things change when someone believes in you! I am ready for a new challenge, I'm ready for a new direction and a new life. I'm ready to grow and change ...
DAY'S REPORT
Habits:
- Clean Sink: no
- Cups of Water: 4
- Hours of sleep: 7ish
- Meds: no (eep!!)
- Reading: no
- FoodRecord: no
- Steps: 4218 steps
Goal Advancement for today:
Nothing to note.
(E-Environment, H:Health, F:Financial, PD: Prof/Personal Development, R: Relationships.)
Gratitude: Today, I'm grateful for ...
1. my new job!!!
2. this awakening that is birthing in me.
3. the people in my life that believe in me and unselfishly encourage me on.
4. the way I see things. Now, I just need the way to do things to match.
5. it being FRIDAY!! whoohooo! no plans, let's see what can be done!
Isn't that what it is all about? Our inner beliefs of ourselves are what we show ... and yet we can mask them easily enough. But somewhere along the way, they ooze out and our self-beliefs become evident. When you listen to the negativity that is rampant in the world, you know that it comes from inside the person. What if we truly loved ourselves? what if that inner monologue was one that came from someone who loved us unconditionally? what if we were treated and cared for by someone who loved us? What would our world and our relationships be like then?? I'm thinking of all these things because when I went for my interview today, I got ready, I did my makeup like I know I can ... and I avoided every other mirror until after the interview was over. I knew I could tap into something that was genuine for the time of the interview, but once I looked in a mirror or reflection in a window, it was gone.
DAY'S REPORT
Habits:
- Clean Sink: no
- Cups of Water: 3
- Hours of sleep: 6h20m
- Meds: yes
- Reading: no
- FoodRecord: no
- Steps: 5546 steps
Goal Advancement for today:
Nothing to note.
(E-Environment, H:Health, F:Financial, PD: Prof/Personal Development, R: Relationships.)
Gratitude: Today, I'm grateful for ...
1. feeling good and confident when I went in to the interview. It went well, I thought.
2. hearing that PN got a job ... a fantastic job! wow! so glad for her!!
3. hearing that RA had a job interview today! That is awesome!!! whether or not she gets is not the point ... the point is she got an interview! it will only get better from here! (I'm telling myself the exact same thing!! :-) )
4. being in Calgary ... a great place to be unemployed! Sooo many opportunities!!
5. our medical coverage - I had a doctor's appointment today and am grateful for having a doctor who can help me. I told about my health issues in the interview, feeling it was crucial ... if I get the job, then I will be able to talk to them about how I'm dealing with this for their benefit.
