46 of 100 ... "Luck is Quite Predictable ...

... If you want more luck, take more chances.  Be more active.  Show up more often."


Today was the day when I felt like I could finally put the last 5 months to rest, let them go, lay them down and walk away.  There are still problems, but I'm done letting them consume my thought and concerns.  I felt an energy, an optimism, an excitement today that I haven't for a long time.  What  good feeling!


Moments of Gratitude
1.  Today, I'm grateful that Dr. Lategan said I'm ok.  He did tell me that I need to be aware of possible symptoms but right now I'm ok and have nothing more to worry about. That's not completely true, but I am letting go of the worry, that's for sure!  Time to get my car back on the road of life!
2.  Today, I'm grateful that I could spend some time with a friend from Summerstock, TJ, who is a manager with MAC Cosmetics.  Too bad the store she manages isn't closer to where I live! I'm starting to think again about a part-time job with the company ...
3.  Today, I'm grateful that the Chicago Blackhawks won their game ... it was a bit of a nail-biter, but they pulled it off!  And, it was nice to be in touch with KS throughout the game.
4.  Today, I'm grateful for the various teas I bought ... as I continue to slowly overhaul my nutritional consumption, I know that drinking more tea will be beneficial in many ways.
5.  Today, I'm grateful to not have to rush anywhere, and rather enjoy the day; to just take it as it came ... the weather, driving, the game, my day.

45 of 100 ... Persistence

Every morning, for the last week or so, I've been removing a spider web from the driver's side mirror of my car.  I remove it, and the next morning it is back.  Yesterday, there was no web ... and today, driving home from work, I saw the web again.  I'm not crazy about spiders; in fact, I've screamed and jumped when I've seen one scampering across my floor.  But, as much as I dislike them, they are persistent little critters.  There were no flies caught in that web; I have no idea why it was important to him to have his web on my car, but it was.  Morning after morning, he re-did his web.  Until one morning, yesterday, when it wasn't back.  I thought that was it ... no more web.  But, when I drove back from work today ... there was the web. 


There's a lesson in that for me.


Gratitude Moments for Today
1.  I have to say it ... I am grateful for the 12 hrs of sleep last night!
2.  I'm grateful today for the Blackhawks winning last night! That means they're still in the running!  Had LA won, it would have been lights out for Chicago.  I'm not a big hockey fan, but I do enjoy picking a team at the beginning of the run to the cup and seeing how far "my" team goes ... for the last few years, I've been a Chicago fan ... go 'Hawks!!
3.  I'm grateful that today is the last day of my work-week!  A three-day weekend! I intend to make this a fruitful weekend - much to do.  I don't have any concrete plans at the moment, so ... much can be done!
4.  Today, I'm grateful for the beautiful green leaves I am seeing everywhere!
5.  Today, I'm grateful that the spider came back and wove his web again.


Steps out of the Rut
Cups of water: 6
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 4 of 5
Activity: yes!
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: around 12h
Sofa/Sleep ratio: about 3h watching TV
Deep clean: none
Reading: 30min

44 of 100 ... Sleep Crash

Wednesday night ... I came home from work around 6:00.  I was going to make myself something for supper but chose to have a bit of ice cream first (don't ask).  Well, ice cream ... led to completely crashing on my sofa until 12:30 AM.  Right out, lights out, didn't even hear the TV.  Let's see how this entry goes for yesterday!


Gratitude Moments for Wednesday
1.  On Wednesday, I was grateful for having a good day at work.  Nothing standing out in any way. 
2.  On Wednesday night, I was grateful for getting a LOT of sleep!  Up to 11 or 12 hrs last night! Not a bit sleepy today, that's for sure!! I hope this doesn't mean that I need that much every night to have an alert day!
3.  On Wednesday, I was grateful for the rain we had - I kept telling myself that everything is going to be green, leaves and grass and all sorts of signs of SUMMER will burst forth!
4.  On Wednesday, it became known that Maya Angelou passed away.  I am grateful to have been part of the culture and time that knew her and her work.  Whenever I begin to doubt that one person can influence a time, I want to remember her ... her life reads like a novel, and her influence was incredible.  What an amazing woman!
5.  On Wednesday, I'm glad that there's only one more day to my "weekend"! I must have been really tired!


Steps out of the Rut
Cups of water: 5
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 3 of 5
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: around 5hr
Sofa/Sleep ratio: about 30m watching TV
Deep clean: none
Reading: none

43 of 100 ... Inspiration and Determination!

Tuesday - two more days to the weekend!  Love short weeks!  This is something we never got in education and what a wonderful experience!  Granted, other things are open to question (PTO problems??) but yey for DDO Fridays!!


Gratitude Moments for Today (Tuesday)
1.  Last night, Phil told me last night about the challenge my nephew has taken on for himself for this summer.  He told me to encourage me - as Aiden is struggling with his challenge, I am, too.  My nephew is learning how to play Najee's saxophone version of "I Wish"; my nephew is in Gr. 7.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Wh1CH_nN88 ... in the solo, my nephew says "I can't do it" ... but, one note at a time, he's learning it.  What an inspiration for me!! - If he can overcome "I can't do it" and do it, so can I.  I'm grateful for my nephew and for this inspiration.
2.  Today, a woman at work shared with us that she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer.  She's in her early 40s, I guess, and I was reminded of my blessings of not having cancer.  Also, there was an urging in me to do something for her ... I know I would have appreciated it if it was me, and so I really feel this is something I need to do ... for her, and for me.  Today, I'm grateful for this opportunity.
3.  Today, I'm grateful for an opportunity to go for a walk at lunch.  I know I need to be careful, as I am walking with my manager (watch what I say!), but it will be good!  That will be a definite pressure to follow through, that I can say!!
4.  Today, I'm grateful for getting home from work early enough to make something for supper.  I didn't make the best, but at least I did make something! (and not KD!!)
5.  Today, I'm grateful that my brother is my brother.  I'm proud of him, I'm honoured to spend time with him, I love him.  And, I adore and love my niece and nephew, and I'm very glad my sister-in-law is who she is.  I'm so grateful that these are my family; I love them beyond words.


Steps out of the Rut
.... isn't it interesting that it seems that there are a few things that are becoming common?  It's an effort, but my sink is clean almost every evening and I'm drinking water every day.  Other things might still be hit and miss, but these two things are pretty constant, and I can celebrate that!
Cups of water: 5
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 3 of 5
Activity: yes!
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: around 6h
Sofa/Sleep ratio: about 2h watching TV
Deep clean: none
Reading: none

42 of 100 ... Inspiration!

To paraphrase Anne of Green Gables, “Isn’t it nice to think that today is the start of a new week with no mistakes in it yet?” … and in that, I feel optimistic and excited.  To pick up my socks and begin again, to step out in faith and confidence … and see what can happen over the next 7 days.  For some reason, it’s always easier to be optimistic when the sun is shining!

Moments of Gratitude for Monday

1. Today, I’m grateful for the 3 hr conversation with my brother.  It’s been a long while since I laughed that much!  Who would have thought that “what movie was that?” could launch a 20 min. non-stop laughing attack for both of us? My brother  - the “pope”! He inspires me in more ways than I can say!

2. Today, I’m grateful for hearing about Nicole’s interview.  This tells me that there is opportunity out there for movement, for change, for new directions.  I may not want what she wants, but if she can get a chance, then I know there is a chance for me as well.

3. Today, I’m grateful for the new week, another opportunity to improve upon last week. 

4. Today, I’m grateful for the need which provided me the necessity to go for a quick walk at lunch – to get a coffee for my afternoon meeting!

5. Today, I’m grateful for the chance, on that quick walk, to walk by a freshly mown patch of grass.  Nothing says “summer” like the smell of freshly mown grass!

Steps out of the Rut

Cups of water: 4
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 4 of 5
Activity: yes!  
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: around 7h
Sofa/Sleep ratio: about 2h watching TV
Deep clean: none
Reading: none

41 of 100 ... Beautiful Sunday!

I remember Sundays past, when the day would be a family day - church in the morning, lunch out, spending the day at the park often with the Mahlers, perhaps a light supper with them and then home.  Has my reality changed! 


Moments of Gratitude for Today:
1.  I'm grateful that I have good memories of spending time with my family and with friends, even though those days are long gone.
2.  I'm grateful for the Internet which helps keep me in touch with friends that live far away.
3.  I'm so grateful for my brother - I don't tell him enough but he means everything to me.  He's so busy in his life but when he remembers me and shares his life with me (like now, I'm listening to a musical creation of his - so haunting!), I am so honoured.
4.  I'm grateful for boredom ... sometimes it something like this that can create much-needed frustration.
5.  I'm grateful for a short work-week ahead ... DDO Friday coming up!

40 of 100 .... Middle of the Wilderness

This is the middle of the experiment, middle of this struggle, middle of the process.  I think it is also the toughest part ... where things aren't yet coming together, you're in too far to go back and the end is still far in the distance.  But this is where the rubber hits the road, where "trust the process" is the mantra.  And, trust the process, I will.  Pick up my socks and dig in again.


Saturday's Moments of Gratitude
1.  Today, I'm grateful for sleep ... it's been a long time since I've slept with little regard for time, and on this day I slept until 1 PM.  Oh glorious day!
2.  Today, I'm grateful for delicious coffee with cream rum in inspirational mugs.
3.  Today, I'm grateful for getting a handle on a budgeting app ... I think I have one that will work for me!  With increased costs coming, I need to be prepared for them!
4.  Today, I'm grateful for spending some time with my landlord and his wife - I had to drop off a new batch of cheques and it was nice to find them at home.
5.  Today, I'm grateful for starting the process of cleaning out my storage.  I have 4 months to do so, and it will be a process.  Stuff from my history, stuff from my parents. One day at a time, one visit at a time.  I'm going to include this as part of my 'deep clean' ... this storage has been like an albatross around my neck so it is part of this load in my life. 


Steps out of the Rut
Cups of water: 3
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 3 of 5 (yuck!)
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: around 12h
Sofa/Sleep ratio: about 2h watching TV
Deep clean: about 30m (storage)
Reading: none

39 of 100 ... Let the Sun Rain Down on Me!

I think Fridays are fantastic ... just because they're Fridays!   The work week is done, and what lies ahead is open for us to make something of it! It was a long work day (9 hrs) so there was a sense of exhaustion when I left.  I keep contemplating ... why does it seem I am more tired here than when I taught?  It might have to do with the absence of mental engagement, the sense of ineffectiveness, or something along those lines.  Something to think about on my own time.  The day was beautiful today and it looks like the weekend will be nice also!  Not as nice as other places ... but AT LEAST WE'RE NOT SNOWING!!!


Moments of Gratitude for Friday :
1.  Today, I'm grateful that IT'S FRIDAY!!
2.  Today, I'm grateful that I got up at 5:00 AM ... that doesn't happen often and it was nice for it to happen today.  Gave me time to properly prepare for work .. and, ironically, do a bit of cleaning on my table!
3.  Today, I'm grateful for finding someone to walk with at lunches.  It came about in an odd way, and I'm not quite sure what to think of it, but I'm glad that the opportunity has presented itself to me! Maybe because of who it is (my manager), it will also pressure me to get out more??
4.  Today, I'm grateful for having the time to finish getting caught up on my PVRd episodes of Bates Motel.  I'm enjoying the character development, in a show where no one is really "good" and yet you still see good character traits in them. 
5.  Today, I'm grateful going to bed in my bed ... so often I end up sleeping on my sofa, but tonight, I made the effort to go to bed in my bed.  As it was the weekend, I also turned the lights off in hopes of a better sleep.


Steps out of my Rut:
Cups of water: 4
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 4 out of 5
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: around 8h
Sofa/Sleep ratio: about 4h watching TV
Deep clean: about 20m (looking for something and did a bit at the same time)
Reading: 20m

38 of 100 ... Out Comes the Sun

This week was a blur and I seemed to be out of focus.  I don't know why and I need to figure out how to let it go.  I don't need to know why but I do need to let it go.  I was told today to stop making things complicated.  I'm not sure it's that simple for me, but I'm going to push on.  There are still many days to this challenge and may it be one step back so that I can take two steps forward.


Gratitude Moments for Thursday
1.   I’m grateful today for the beautiful weather!  I feel like it will be but a fleeting thing and so to enjoy it, appreciate it and revel in it as much as possible when it is here.  I did go outside twice, walked a little, but not enough to make an activity out of it.
2.  I'm grateful today for time to read.  I love reading and I don't do it enough.  It's tough at lunch - I want to go for a walk, I want to read, I want to journal, I want to work so I can leave work early ... how do I choose? Today, I chose to read.
3.  I'm grateful today for a thoughtful text from a friend.  He remembered that I had a significant doctor's appointment yesterday and wanted to know how it went.  It was nice that he checked to see how it went.
4.  I'm grateful today to not be dead yet, and if I do things right, it will be longer rather than shorter for that time to come.
5.  I'm grateful today that there are always more than one solution to a problem. 


Steps out of the Rut
Cups of water: 5
Day’s Calories: around 2000
Food groups: 4 out of 5
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: around 8h but erratic and tough day
Sofa/Sleep ratio: about 2h watching TV
Deep clean: none
Reading: 30m

37 of 100 ... "If Nothing Changed ...

... there'd be no butterflies."


I’m not sure if this “opportunity” has come to me as a result of this challenge I have given myself or if the meeting of the two are by chance.  I won’t get into details here, but I will say that it is like I’m being hit over the head with some pretty big “ah-ha” moments that are cutting me to the core.  Moments that are presenting life-lessons and self-awareness discoveries and realizations that were never this clear before.  Clarity is one thing, realization is another … and then, if they are true, comes action as a result.  Sometimes I wonder if there’s enough life left for me to make good on all these; but even if there’s not, at least I can take some steps in that direction and begin the journey. 

Gratitude Moments for Wednesday

1.  I’m grateful that my friend RA made it home safe.  I am in awe that she took on a field trip with her daughter when she is not well and suffers from so much pain, and knowing that this would affect her, she still went. Today, she made it home … yes, in pain, but home: safe, warm and sound!  Hats off to her!

2.  I’m grateful that I took the time to talk with my friend TK today and really listen to her struggles.  I get it.  May I be able to respond as she needs.

3.  I’m grateful that I finally got the tires out of my car!  I got my summers on last weekend and, because they’re so heavy, I didn’t deal with them until today.  So, even though it was a bit of a challenge, they are no longer in my car! Which means now I can give it a summer clean!!

4.  I’m grateful for the positive call from the thoracic surgeon today.  It seems that all is being resolved, except for why my tonsils and lymph nodes are enlarged.  At least, it’s not because of cancer!

5.  I’m grateful for the beautiful day we had today!  I got out for a very short walk around the building (not enough to count as activity but enough to feel the warm sun on my face) and, like every other, I did not want to go in.  Reminded me of those days before summer holidays. 

6.  I’m grateful that I have the chance to become more self-aware and to change accordingly.  Sometimes the lessons that get me to this point are tough, but I’m grateful that I do have them and that I get to change, hopefully becoming a better person, as a result.

Steps out of the Rut:

Cups of water: 4
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 4 out of 5
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: 7.5h
Sofa/Sleep ratio: about 2hr watching TV
Deep clean: none
Reading: 20m
 

36 of 100 .... Obstacle into Opportunity

The weather actually is starting to feel like summer is coming!  Ah, how to make the most of what is around the corner?  Not what was but what can be from what is going to be.  That's what this is about, right?


Gratitude Moments from Today
1.  Today, I'm grateful for the weather; I don't want to sit with my back to the window all day long but I need to go out and enjoy it.  People who smoke can go outside and take a break; why can't I go out for a quick walk around the building? 
2.  Today, I'm grateful for getting the reports early so that I could get my task done and out the door before 5 PM. 
3.  Today, I'm grateful that my white roots are gone again, so nice that my hair looks good again.
4.  Today, I'm grateful that my protein bar that I made yesterday turned out so good!  Not sweet, not distasteful in any way, and completely flavourful. A keeper, for sure!
5.  Today, I'm grateful that it looks like I'm going to be able to get to bed by 9:30 ... last time I said that, it didn't turn out ... this time, I hope I can have a long night's sleep!


Steps out of the Rut
Cups of water: 4
Day’s Calories: around 1300
Food groups: 4 out of 5
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: 6h
Sofa/Sleep ratio: about 1hr watching TV?
Deep clean: none
Reading: 20m

35 of 100 ... Pushing Forward

About 15 min ago I found out that a family friend passed away in April.  This woman was like another aunt to me, and the memories throughout my life of her mixed with other people, most passed on already, are flooding back.  I feel horrible, for personal reasons.  Life - a fleeting moment, laced with regret and celebration. 


Moments of Gratitude Today
1.  Today, I'm grateful for the great price I got for a new pair of pumps.  I hope they are as comfortable long term (as my ankles unswell) as they felt in the store.
2.  Today, I'm grateful for making my Jambalaya again, this time with shrimp.  I hope it's as good as the last time! (2 bags of groceries - $100 ... crazy!)
3.  Today, I'm grateful for planning my meals for the coming week, right down to the snacks, and doing the preparation that I need to for success in that department this week!
4.  Today, I'm grateful for Alice ... the memories are many and my regrets are definite.  But for all her influence in my life, I thank God for her and in the midst of my tears, I rejoice that she is reunited with mom, dad and Aunt Lydia, and many others who welcomed her home.
5.  Today, I'm grateful for the good memories I have. 


Steps out of my Rut
Cups of water: 3
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 4 out of 5
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes! (after making 2 dishes, I refused to go to bed with dirty dishes!)
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: 7h 30m
Sofa/Sleep ratio: watched TV about 1-2 hrs
Deep clean: none
Reading: none

34 of 100 ... "Even if You Stumble ...

You are still moving forward."  I don't know if I'd say this weekend was stumbling, though it could be seen as such.  And stumbling is part of learning, right?  We cannot run until we walk, and often we stumble and fall on that road.  But even if this weekend I stumbled,  I am also certain that this weekend I was still moving forward.  Reading that quote gives me confidence, in a strange way.  I should not be afraid of stumbling ... stumbling is ok; turning back and giving up is not.  So, today, forward I still went.  Today was a good day ... not a strong day, but a good day.  And that's ok.


Moments of Gratitude
1.  Today, I'm grateful for completing a few tasks that were not complete when today started.
2.  Today, I'm grateful for the tooth problems I'm having - sometimes it takes something like this to nudge me to action in the necessary direction.  In this case, it also means searching for glasses as well as getting my teeth fixed. 
3.  Today, I'm grateful for the time I spent with Vicky this evening.  She didn't seem quite as depressed today and maybe between her and me, we can hold each other's hands as we attempt to find connection with other people.  A support network is crucial for mental health and growth and, each in our own way, we need others.
4.  Today, I'm grateful for the phone call from my friend JS.  For all that he and I have gone through since I moved to Alberta in 1990, to lose his friendship last year without any explanation and have it come back recently in the most spiritual of ways, I am grateful that he does check up on me and that we can still have 4 hour conversations.
5.  Today, I am grateful for my heritage of faith.  Conversations with my brother and with JS have made it clear to me that this is not something that is new, even though it is born anew every morning.  My faith comes not only from me, but from my ancestors passed through generations, a faith that is not perfect, but has depth and an understanding of it that comes from history.  In this heritage, I often find my strength, not of emotion that can change, but of conviction and certainty in that which has been tested by time and has flourished in me.  As I once heard, I am the Third Testament, God through me in this time. 


Steps out of my Rut
Cups of water: 6
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 5 out of 5
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: 6h 30m
Sofa/Sleep ratio: about 4 hr watching TV? evening only
Deep clean: none
Reading: none

33 of 100 ... Be Where Your Feet Are

I have one plant in my apartment (yes, only one) that I got about two years ago when I went up to visit some high school friends in Edmonton.  I've never been good with plants, but I hoped that if I had only one, that the odds of its survival would increase.  My plant was doing fine until somewhere around Christmas ... when I seemed to forget about him.  I look back at what has transpired in my life since Christmas and it's understandable ... 20 medical appointments or procedures, layered over top with lost luggage and all that goes with that (shock, anger, mourning irreplaceable items, re-pricing, questioning, re-placing, etc.), an unexplained skin rash over my arms that drove me crazy (still unknown and still present in small patches) and an evaluation at work which means nothing to them but brings me to question where the hell am I ...


If I have had no time, I think it's understandable.  The thing is, about a week ago, I re-discovered my plant, on a window ledge, looking rather sad and dead.  It was green, but I think it died in the middle of the green and just froze there.  Not really having the time to throw the plant out, I decided to water it (is this like kicking a dead horse?) ... and lo and behold, sprouts began to poke forth!  My plant seems to have begun to live again!  It's not fully recovered, it's still struggling, but with attention (and water), there seems to be life again! 


I can relate to my plant ... It's like this weekend, I 'froze' there ... in all that has happened, I have not taken care of me ... I've taken care of the superficial part, but not the soul part, and this weekend, I have spent my time looking rather sad and dead.  Yes, I've done things, but for the most part, I checked out.  And, maybe after all that has happened, both to me and within me, it is ok.  I need a break from all that those months held, the fears and the confusion ... a rest does the soul good.  And now, much like my plant, I hope I'm ready to sprout forth again.  It didn't completely regrow overnight, and neither will I ... there's dead leaves to get rid of, and there's an effort, a sadness in that in life.  But, fingers crossed and God willing, the plant (and myself) can reach full foliage again!  Trust the process ...


Gratitude Moments for Saturday
1.  Today, I'm grateful for being able to do nothing in pockets of time and have no consequence (other than my own guilt). 
2.  Today, I'm grateful that I did get a bit of cleaning done around my place, things that have been 1/2 finished for a while.  Now, they're finished!
3.  Today, I'm grateful for getting caught up on one of the TV shows I have PVRd.  In a way, that's a task ... to get my PVR storage down to 50%. 
4.  Today, I'm grateful for taking the time to watch The Soloist without PVRing it.  What a movie! Inspiring and painful, raw and real; I could see myself in so many places in that movie!  (I don't care what the critics said!)  I'm grateful that movie was made ... a perfect point in my life to see it.
5.  Today, I'm grateful for the friends that reached out to me throughout the day.  Just when I get to navel-gazing a bit too much, I was reminded more than once, that I am not alone. 


Steps out of my Rut (definitely still in it!):
Cups of water: 2
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 3 out of 5
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes! (be grateful for the small things on a day like this!)
Sleeping: 7h
Sofa/Sleep ratio: not a good one 
Deep clean: none
Reading: 30m (almost done my book!)

32 of 100 ... "Finding Oneself and One's Path ..

... is like waking up on a foggy day. Be patient, and presently the fog will clear and that which has always been there can be seen. The path is already there to follow.”   Maybe that's part of this experiment - finding that path again, finding my passion again.  And, along the way, days are needed where I can not worry about anything (especially in the light of these last months!), and be at peace, see if the fog will lift, just a bit, to see the path again.  Today, that's what I did ...


Gratitude Moments in my Friday
1.  Today, I am grateful for being able to help out a friend when she needed someone.  I was so glad I could say yes when she asked me, even if it meant getting up early.
2.  Today, I'm grateful I got my tires changed! That means summer really is here!
3.  Today, I'm grateful for time ... uninterrupted time, to contemplate, to waste, to use, to inspire, to create, to be.  No answers, and that's ok.
4.  Today, I'm grateful for the rain we are going to have this weekend.  Today, was nice with patches of sunshine; the rest of the weekend is supposed to be rain-filled.  I'm grateful for rain because of how green this world will be! because fires, like they are having in California from drought will not be a fear for us; and I will not feel guilty at all about staying home and clean, as I desperately need to (to prepare for cleaning out the storage, which will be the focus of the summer).
5.  Today, I'm grateful for coffee ... and cream rum.  That might become my new favourite combination! Not bumping out Bailey's yet, but it is close!


Steps out of my Rut:
Cups of water: 3
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 3 out of 5 (not a better day)
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: 5h 40m
Sofa/Sleep ratio: about 4h
Deep clean: none
Reading: 30m

31 of 100 ... Breathe

Thursday - a Friday because Friday is a DDO.  Thursdays are either crazy or non-existent.  Today, I wanted it to go and I didn't want it to go.  I guess that's what happens when there is something in your future for which you are somewhat apprehensive of the outcome. One of those times when you debate how much do you repress what you really feel?


Gratitude Moments for Thursday
1.  Today, I'm grateful that it's Thursday, the last day of the work week, and 4 days of holidays ahead! Plans?  not many. 
2.  Today, I'm grateful for having the opportunity to re-connect with a friend who was once very important in my life.  I don't know how far a renewed friendship will go without talking about things of significance and true meaning, but time will tell.  At least there is the chance to re-connect.
3.  Today, I'm grateful that the long weekend that starts the summer and camping the season.  Last year I didn't get out camping much, maybe this year I can get out a few more times.  I really enjoy it, provided I don't get cold ... something about silence and nature. 
4.  Today, I'm grateful for the opportunity to go to my third wine-tasting.  The first was with my Aunt Lydia, a very long time ago (I can't remember when, but it was in Calgary, on a holiday, I think ...), the second was at Jason's last November, and this was the third.  I really enjoyed it - the history fascinates me.  This class was on Shiraz/Syrah wine, and though my palate needs a lot more practice to discern the differences, at least I can tell which qualities I like more than others. 
5.  Today, I'm grateful for my Aunt ... today, the wine-tasting struck a painful note and in the midst of the pain, I remembered my Aunt.  In a way, she was the only one in my life who has given me unconditional love, who held nothing back nor manipulated me in the love she gave to me.  How I miss her!


Steps out of my Rut
Cups of water: 5
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups (out of 5): 4 of the 5 (no fruit)
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes!
Sleeping:  6h (up twice)
Sofa/Sleep ratio: no TV
Deep clean: none
Reading: 10 min at work; want to read a bit more before bed.