62 of 100 ... Father's Day

Today is Father's Day ... and though I didn't cry, I did tear up more than once, remembering the last time I spent Father's Day with my dad, remembering other times I spent with Dad.  We went to the Carriage House for brunch.  And I paid for him.  I didn't do it often, but it was important for me to do it this time.  I don't want to spend time on regrets or things I wish would have been different ... the fact is that I had a good father, who loved me a lot.  People enjoyed being with him and he did the best with what he had.  And I loved him a lot ... I wish I would have told him more.  I guess the next best thing is to live my life in such a way that he would have been proud of me. Which is one of the things that brought me to this place. When I do it for myself, sometimes it's easy to let it slide ... when I consider I could do it for others also, maybe there's a bit more will-power to push a bit harder.  On days like this, I hold myself close and make it through the pain ... I cannot let this continue, but for today, I did.  

Things to be Grateful for on This Sunday
1.  On this day, I'm grateful for the father I had - he lived as he believed to be true and he walked his talk, even if it was hard.  He lived to his Truth and put his faith in God's promises.  I wish to take the best of him and live out my Truth and walk my talk also.
2.  On this day, I'm grateful to have had the chance to go to iHop with my friend VG.  We had to wait! But we got in. 
3.  On this day, I'm grateful for "something" ... I don't quite know what to call it, but I really saw it discussions today.  I often feel the swirling of chaos around me and confusion and frustration that threatens to pull me under.  But somewhere in the middle of this, I can tap into a strength, a power, a resilience that gives me a life-line to hang on to in times like this.  It comes from no one in my life, but from somewhere in me. It is not me but it is within me.  I became very aware of this today, and in that instant, was full of gratitude.  It is this that I need to tap into more often so I don't feel so alone and so I can find the strength to focus and change what needs to be changed.
4.  On this day, I'm grateful for doing the work I needed to have my bedroom returned to me!  There is still much more work to do, but for now, this is good. 
5.  On this day, I'm grateful for thinking I know what to do to sleep through the night:  I have to stop drinking fluids at least an hour before bed, and I need to drink, throughout the day, water ... with apple cider in it.  I haven't figured out the right balance yet (my stomach still hurts in the seconds following the swallow), but it does almost instantly calm my tumultuous stomach!


Steps out of my Rut
Cups of water: 3
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups:  4 of 5
Activity: no  
Clean sink: no
Meds: yes!
Sleeping: 7.5h
Sofa/Sleep ratio: 1h
Deep clean: yes!
Reading: no