33 of 100 ... Be Where Your Feet Are

I have one plant in my apartment (yes, only one) that I got about two years ago when I went up to visit some high school friends in Edmonton.  I've never been good with plants, but I hoped that if I had only one, that the odds of its survival would increase.  My plant was doing fine until somewhere around Christmas ... when I seemed to forget about him.  I look back at what has transpired in my life since Christmas and it's understandable ... 20 medical appointments or procedures, layered over top with lost luggage and all that goes with that (shock, anger, mourning irreplaceable items, re-pricing, questioning, re-placing, etc.), an unexplained skin rash over my arms that drove me crazy (still unknown and still present in small patches) and an evaluation at work which means nothing to them but brings me to question where the hell am I ...


If I have had no time, I think it's understandable.  The thing is, about a week ago, I re-discovered my plant, on a window ledge, looking rather sad and dead.  It was green, but I think it died in the middle of the green and just froze there.  Not really having the time to throw the plant out, I decided to water it (is this like kicking a dead horse?) ... and lo and behold, sprouts began to poke forth!  My plant seems to have begun to live again!  It's not fully recovered, it's still struggling, but with attention (and water), there seems to be life again! 


I can relate to my plant ... It's like this weekend, I 'froze' there ... in all that has happened, I have not taken care of me ... I've taken care of the superficial part, but not the soul part, and this weekend, I have spent my time looking rather sad and dead.  Yes, I've done things, but for the most part, I checked out.  And, maybe after all that has happened, both to me and within me, it is ok.  I need a break from all that those months held, the fears and the confusion ... a rest does the soul good.  And now, much like my plant, I hope I'm ready to sprout forth again.  It didn't completely regrow overnight, and neither will I ... there's dead leaves to get rid of, and there's an effort, a sadness in that in life.  But, fingers crossed and God willing, the plant (and myself) can reach full foliage again!  Trust the process ...


Gratitude Moments for Saturday
1.  Today, I'm grateful for being able to do nothing in pockets of time and have no consequence (other than my own guilt). 
2.  Today, I'm grateful that I did get a bit of cleaning done around my place, things that have been 1/2 finished for a while.  Now, they're finished!
3.  Today, I'm grateful for getting caught up on one of the TV shows I have PVRd.  In a way, that's a task ... to get my PVR storage down to 50%. 
4.  Today, I'm grateful for taking the time to watch The Soloist without PVRing it.  What a movie! Inspiring and painful, raw and real; I could see myself in so many places in that movie!  (I don't care what the critics said!)  I'm grateful that movie was made ... a perfect point in my life to see it.
5.  Today, I'm grateful for the friends that reached out to me throughout the day.  Just when I get to navel-gazing a bit too much, I was reminded more than once, that I am not alone. 


Steps out of my Rut (definitely still in it!):
Cups of water: 2
Day’s Calories: unknown
Food groups: 3 out of 5
Activity: no
Clean sink: yes!
Meds: yes! (be grateful for the small things on a day like this!)
Sleeping: 7h
Sofa/Sleep ratio: not a good one 
Deep clean: none
Reading: 30m (almost done my book!)