29 - Love my Family

There are times when I know that, from the outside, that I don't seem like a good person.  It's not that I'm unethical or immoral, but that I get lost. And things in my world get so crazy that I don't know how to get out of the mess I find myself in.  I'm willing to take responsibility for my messed up world; but something happens and I get lost in that world.

Tonight, I decided to take the first of what I hope are many steps.  I called to talk to my niece ... just her, and no one else.  I am going to do the same with my nephew - call and talk to only him.  Many times, I sit and look at their pictures and imagine what their world must be like.  The hell they must be going through.  I really enjoyed talking to my niece - she played the flute for me (she's really good!), we talked about reading (she recommended The Fault in our Stars), we talked about school, how she loves Math the best and doesn't like Social Studies because she doesn't understand maps.  I hung up on her and wept ... she sounded so positive, until I said that I know she's going through a tough time.  Then I knew things were not as happy as they sounded.

I need to turn things around.

Gratitude Moments Today
1/ Today, I'm so grateful to have such a wonderful niece.  I know she's going through a mess she found herself in and had no part in it and I hope I can help her somehow.  Maybe a phone call a week can start. This whole thing makes me so sick, I have no idea where to start or what to do.  So, I'll start here.
2/ Today, I'm grateful for getting a few resumes out.
3/ Today, I'm grateful for the beautiful weather - it's there, I need to make use of it more!
4/ Today, I'm grateful for the phone call I got from RA ... it's nice to get those every so often!
5/ Today, I'm grateful for opportunities still open to me.