89 of 100 ... Maybe God's Trying to Tell Me Something

There is a movie that came out many years ago, a movie that I happened to become very familiar with the novel, a movie that is so powerful in many ways.  And in that movie, at the climax of the film, is a song:  "Maybe God's Trying to Tell You Something".  I was reminded of that on Saturday ... when I found myself in emergency again, for the strangest of reasons.  Pain for unknown reasons ... and I felt like something was consuming my insides.  In the end, there was nothing there. I can't help but wonder if there isn't a message being given to me in all of this ...


Moments of Gratitude for Today (Saturday)


On this day, I am grateful for
1/ all the pain amounting to nothing; most importantly, no aneurism.  I woke at 5:00 AM ... The pain started in my right leg and seized the leg up with pain.  Walking was completely impossible.  It moved within the leg, going up and down, and then it is like it raced around the inside of my body - going up the right leg, out the right arm, moving through my chests and head and down again, out the left arm and out the left leg.  It was a "wash" of pain, not as intense as the leg and not seizing anything up.  The strangest thing.  (It eventually subsided, and I wanted to give it a bit of time so I crawled back into bed.  I woke around 9:00 and went into emergency.  I left the hospital around 3:00 PM.)
2/ the amazing conversation I had with my brother.  One of the few things we talked about is how God interacts with our lives, and not always in an auditory manner.  So many people say "God told me to ..." when who knows if there's a difference between the voices we all hear in our head, our own voices talking to ourselves, vs. "God's" voice?  Then, there are people who legitimately hear voices not their own ... and they're not well either.  So, how can you know for sure that it is God's voice and not something else?  For me, it has something to do with things happening that I have no control over, that happen through no influence of mine.  Something in me, be it my own voice, is telling me to look close, to become aware, to open up, to 'go in and go out' at the same time ...because God IS trying to tell me something.  It seems everything is building to something ... I just don't know what. 
3/ being here ... being alive.  I have lost track of the number of times I've had an up-close and personal encounter with death over the last few years, even since Christmas.  And I can distinctly remember moments when my survival had nothing to do with my abilities.  Once "it just happened" could be by chance; twice makes you go "hmmm" and three and more??? a fluke?  or something else?  And yet, here I am ... I guess my job isn't done here yet!
4/ the idea for a book that my brother gave me.  I won't go into details but it has to do with elderly, the lives they lived, the values they lived by, and now at the end of their lives, how do they face into the final chapter? And, the important part is to include as many from as diverse backgrounds as possible. 
5/ for all the people who have continued to check in on me and offer their help.  I know I'll be ok, but it's so wonderful to also know that there are others around where I can call for help ... or for coffee.  Going through a time of extreme difficulty alone is not easy - I know, I've done it.  So, to have, even one or two (and there are so many more) near me at this time, be it via texting (like RA or my brother) or physical presence (NB or BT and so many more), I am grateful beyond words. 


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lD5uPZzBr5c 
"God is Trying To Tell You Somethin' " (The Color Purple) ... one of the most theological beautiful novels I have ever read!