Ikigai Part 2 - My Values and My Possibilities

 I began this with a reflection on the four parts of Amanda Kudo's book My Little Ikigai Journal. For this entry, I will reflect a bit more on the last two parts - what are my Values and my Possibilities. 

My Values – In this section, she asks questions about what is important and has worth to you, including questions around where your spending is done, what unanswered questions do you have, where is that line-in-the-sand for you; if you opened a treasure chest, just for you, of all the things you own, what would be in it? She gives a long list of values, to select the 10 most important, and then the three top from there, and others. A lot of my answers include things like the following ... 

• Things that have really spoken to me: To Kill A Mockingbird (novel), Pride and Prejudice (movie with Knightly and McFadyen), Dead Poet's Society (movie), poems, Hunting Magic Eels (book), Hagitude (book), The Monastic Heart (book) ... why? beauty, passion, purpose, connection, mysticism
• My 20-item bucket list (not complete): writing books, going away on a retreat, seeing Harry Connick Jr and Diana Krall in concert, find & live my brand, go back to Concordia for Christmas Concert and Homecoming once more, get my shit cleaned up, stay at a Landmark Trust location, spend time with my niece and nephew again, go to Thailand and cycle through it, go on a spiritual retreat, and reconcile with my brother. 
• Things that have irrevocably changed my life in some way: going to Korea, going to university, losing my brother, when I was told my values don't matter. (I suspect my current poverty might become one of these as well.) 
• Things tugging at me: elder orphans, what it means to age with power and compassion and grace, animosity in the world, spinning my wheels, wondering who would find me if I died. 
• Unanswered questions: How do I start again? How can I figure things out before it's too late? The 'loss of voice' in our world is bothering me, not only for the individual but for the various groups ... groups that are not 'in', that are 'canceled', that are being redefined. There's a scene in The Man in the High Castle where they bring down Lady Liberty and the cheering that ensues. It feels almost prophetic in a way. And it makes me ill. There is also something growing about any time people are divided into groups of some sort, whether it is because of the colour of their skin whether it is because of what they believe or who they voted for, whether it's because of their age or their educational standing or culture ... all of it when it becomes your ... ideology? it becomes toxic and dangerous. Anything that divides, destroys. The unanswered question - how can people see that ALL sides can cause destruction and not just 'the other'? 
• Things I want others to say about me: that I was professional, that I was a person of compassion for everyone, that they learned something when they were with me, that I listened more than I talked and I did both with Truth, that they enjoyed spending time with me, that I gave of myself, that they are better in some way for having spent time with me. 
• My one hill to die on: love for all, community in diversity, collective in differences, something to do with education without ideology. 
• My five items in my treasure chest: my books (knowledge, understanding, growth), my feather blanket (warmth, comfort, safety), my computer (communication, writing, creativity), my Christmas tree candles (beauty, redemption, struggle with purpose), my journal (reflection, discovery, growth, struggle, inspiration). 
• My mantras: Love Wins; I am loved I am redeemed; Sin Boldly; Unique Traits & One Race - The Human Race.
• My central values: Authenticity, Community, Compassion, Grace, Growth, Honesty, Individuality, Integrity, Love, Peace, Resilience, Wisdom, Truth, Voice.

My Possibilities – In this section, she asks questions about where you can make a difference, how you see the world, what places are calling to you, and where your unique character can help others, including noticing where others ask you for help, what has been sitting on the back burner for a while, needs noticed where you wish you could help, what would you do if you could not fail, when did you hold back, "take back the NOT", what brings fulfillment-meaning-joy into life, what drains you, a hidden gift, if you were given a million dollars, or the end of your life in six months, among others. A lot of my answers include things like the following ...

• Writing a book comes up a lot, but never find the time to do it. Including traveling alone and writing as I do this. 
• Needs that affect me: human devastation, people caught up in fear, Orphans in between. 
• Could not fail? create a course that radically changes people to be purposeful, empowered, knowing self better, connected to external (humility), absence of fear, more aware, more compassionate, eradication of labels. A community of tiny homes for people who have no one.
• Places I've held back: getting my master's, valuing myself.
• Taking back the NOT (list 'not' phrases I was told and then remove the not) and what is left: Not go to university, not go to Korea, not be involved with the high school theatre program. I did them all. (Makes me ponder what is my 'not' list right now?) 
• "Perfect fit" experiences: connecting with others, inspiring and walking with others, working with a sense of autonomy and trust, when I was nose-deep in learning, time to read, time to write
• Not working well: no purpose, no contribution, no connection, not making a difference.
• Hidden gifts: my planner, my poem, my 'sense'. 
• When were things right: when I talked with others and asked the right questions for them to connect to something inside themselves. a Collective, a synergy with others. Opening and not closing. 
• Somehow finding ways to help those who are lost in the mess of things, listening to those who are not listened to, helping those who are not helped. The silent ones. The lost ones. 

That is a brief summary of my responses. Now ... not sure where to take this next, but I'll figure out something. Lots online about this; perhaps I'll find something about 'how to find your Ikigai' and see what it shows me.  

Until next entry!