Ikigai Part 1 - My Passions and My Gifts

 

There are many ways and many questions to ponder on this journey to figuring out (or discovering?) what one’s Ikigai is. As mentioned already, the most common way that is easiest found online is a Venn diagram of 4 overlapping circles (What you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for). 

And, as I mentioned already, I suspect this has a lot of Western influence. Though there are likely connections, I want to do what I can to seek my answer from outside these manipulated concepts. I know people from Asia have a very different upbringing and way of viewing the world, and if I can get into that and understand it from that perspective, then there might be something there that is not part of the Western / American / 21st century way of thinking. 

The book I used on this journey also had 4 overlapping circles, but they were different labels. Kudo's include: What I love, Where I excel, How I see the world, and Where I can make a difference. The book, in case you want to check it out for yourself: My Little Ikigai Journal by Amanda Kudo. 

However, in her book, she asks questions under 4 categories: Your Passions, Your Gifts, Your Values, and Your Possibilities, where these various points connect. How this all links together, I’ll figure out as time goes on. Since I did the questions in the book, I’m going to spend a bit of time reflecting on what the answers said about me, particularly on two points today: My Passions and My Gifts.

My Passions – In this section, she asks questions around what brings you joy, how you prefer to spend your time, what makes you happy, where do you find fulfillment, 10 things you could not live without, where do you feel ‘home’, and what do you spend your money on ... to name a few. (There are 21 questions.) A lot of my answers include things like the following ...

• Writing, creating something. connecting with people, inspiring others & being inspired, connecting with others beyond superficial, time in nature, arts (reading, theatre, movie), time in communion with God / meditation, places that teach me something, reflection, writing, being part of something bigger than me, photographing, capturing emotion or a message in an instant.
• Topics: theology, spirituality, personal beliefs, movies, literature, experiences, arts, personal development, opinions, conversation and learning. Fascinated with contemplation, Christian mysticism, pre-Nicaea / post-resurrection time, monasticism. Things with depth, with heart, with voice and story and journey. 
• I love discussion unless being told I'm wrong or called names or not listened to or diminished in some way; it's not so much the topic as it is the attitude - such as no inquisitiveness, knowing it all, threatened by my questions, refusing to listen. The dialogue is important to me, not being told. Inquiry, exchange = value. Arrogance, right/wrong, dismissing  = not my thing.
• I am happiest when I was reading, with Aunt Lydia, at Rainbow Stage. Ballet, when I am learning something, exploring, fancy restaurants, travel. Things I have not yet explored - serious writing, seeing castles, taking a dance class, pursuing a Masters. Childhood dreams not yet explored: to listen to others, encourage them and help them find their way, seeing a castle, to write a book.
• Things I’ve done and really enjoy to my core: Loved helping others learn and discover, English / literature, arts, being present when others were struggling/suffering, listening to others, helping them find their voice, making a difference, critical thinking and analysis. Loved learning new things myself. Creating something unique, being part of something. I have realized that I need to be constantly learning. I start to die in some way if I am not actively learning something new.
• Things I have done that I have not enjoyed: working without contact with others, feeling like I am not impacting or contributing, being 'dismissed', assuming that what I have done is the most of my capabilities. I do not enjoy being underappreciated or micro-managed / no autonomy. I don’t like numbers on their own or anger or hatred or disrespect. I do not enjoy being in conversation with someone and not being heard, being told "yes, I know what you mean" without checking to make sure that is so. I do not enjoy being in a broken relationship with no way ahead to heal it. I do not enjoy standing alone with empty hands, and not knowing why.
• What makes me smile? real candles on my Christmas tree, a clean-washed floor, light my candles, an empty sink, snowfall, Christmas music, hearing from friends, the smell of homemade chicken noodle soup, opening a brand-new book, the first sip of a good glass of wine, meeting someone for coffee.
• What could I not live without? books (all of them), learning something new that I don’t already know, my computer, appreciating something beautiful, writing, doing something outdoors, listening to music, talking to someone of like-mind, who inspires me and I inspire them, making progress on a goal, making something healthy that also tastes good, working on creating something, taking time to pause and appreciate, contemplating and meditating, “inhaling beauty”, my bible with concordance (and multiple translations, because I like to cross-reference and check on the original word and meanings and where used in other places in the text), candle-light and mentation, tea or coffee – something warm to drink, coffee with Bailey's, my feather blanket, some sort of visual entertainment, phone for contact with others, writing (journal and pen).

My Gifts – In this section, she asks questions around what you’re good at, instinctively and with little effort, what you are born with, innate to you. This area is difficult for many (including me), as it is easy to assume everyone can do what we do. I realize this is not the case ... everyone does not think or feel like I do, everyone does not have my aptitudes or my areas of confidence or struggle where I do. So her questions cover things like what do people compliment you on, what are accomplishments that mean something to you, what do others say about you, what parts of your character are you grateful for, what comes easy to you, what do you see or know better than most. A lot of my answers include things like the following ...

• People – my gifts lie, without a doubt, with people. There are a lot of things I can do – there is very little I cannot do, but the things that give me joy always have to do with people, with learning, with spirituality, with connecting to something bigger than me. The story is at the center of so much, connecting. It's about ‘bottom-up’, not ‘top-down’, about lateral and not vertical.
• Accomplishments: creating Christmas musicals (script, production, for 14 different classes, with music and everything), working with Jocelyn and her gifted learning, my musical: Anne of Green Gables, and clowning with kids who have never done a musical, creating my planner, going to Korea during the economic collapse, every time I was able to be present with someone in their struggle, publishing my poem (twice). In many ways, I don't feel I've accomplished lots, but everything I count has to do with people. Maybe an accomplishment is the number of former students I am still in touch with and who count me as someone who greatly impacted them and who I count as 'friend' now?
• Grateful for: listening skills, empathy (inter/intrapersonal), spiritual awareness and perception, seeing all sides to a situation or opinion, adventurous (doing things on my own), INFP/INFJ (NF off the charts), knowing how to dream and how to make the dream real,
• What is Easy: observational and organization, big picture, steps, trans-application, technology, listening beyond words. I have very strong gifts in Gardner’s intelligences in areas of interpersonal, intrapersonal, and existential. Stronger than most. I know this because I assume others are the same but I am realizing that’s not the case. I’m an INFP/J – my I is relatively strong, my N and F are off the charts in strength (they almost can’t be stronger), and my P/J is split. Very split. Every time I’ve taken the test, it flips from one side to the other, never more than a point or two either way. And my spiritual gifts are Discernment, Mercy, Wisdom, Knowledge.
• The only way to get to the mystery and Truth is through the journey. “seeing through a glass darkly”, layers of who we are. My ability to listen, discussions, learn something from me (and me from them), feel accepted and valued, various sides, being present. What do I know? Human motivation, People, awareness of something beyond the moment, God's woven presence.
• Not complicated but complex, depth, I think in symbols and metaphors, process and design, beneath and beyond the surface simultaneously, seek to acquire confirmation of who I am, expression? Affirmation? Substance of words and language. Words but more. A word is never just a word.

So, if I bring these together thus far, I don’t see anything simple. I don’t see anything straightforward. I see someone who is extremely cerebral, who ‘thinks too much’ and who loves the mental dance. Yet, in there is also someone who truly loves people and who loves communication who loves presence. And yes, someone who has a faith belief that is abnormal. Maybe in many ways, I’m abnormal and don’t fit in any box. And, that’s ok. I wonder what the coming days will bring.