The first thing is something called Blue Zones. Now, maybe you know about this, but it was completely new to me. I was preparing to teach a class on Ikigai and, while looking for a video on Okinawa, Japan, and Ikigai, I came across a video that said it was one of five locations identified as this Blue Zone. What is this? Well, on the face, it's quite simple. Dan Buettner, of the National Geographic Society, has spent over 20 years identifying, around the world, what he calls "hot spots of longevity". It starts with - where do people live the longest? And what are the common characteristics? The places he has identified truly are - and the common elements are exercise, nutrition, and community. All three are strongly intertwined. You can easily find the Blue Zone Diet ... but that's not all there's to it - it's one of three. I've been thinking of the need to integrate some key things into my life and, as I learn about the significance of these places, especially the inclusion of community, I'm drawn into something.
The second thing, and perhaps the most profound, is a realization of something missing in all my values work. I sort of noted it, but here's a bit more, because one thing that leads directly into another: (1) the absence of something to do with self; and (2) how are these values seen in my decisions and actions. I realized this because, without the one, there is a real breakdown with the second. As I looked over the values I listed, as true as they rang, they also clanged with a hollow sound. And I didn't understand. If they were things I valued, then why did I still feel disconnected? Empty? Lost? They were but I saw almost no evidence of a lot of them in my life. Why was that? I attended a workshop - and she suggested to become curious about things. So I am curious: why is there a disconnect between my values and my life?
The answer - I was missing. I don't mean in a selfish or egotistical or arrogant way. Very different than that, but I couldn't find a word for it, so I went hunting. The closest I could find was the term self-worth. And this did hit true, but not completely. So much can be wrapped up in this term - from a strong sense of self-esteem, establishing healthy boundaries, not following the crowd, and relying on others' affirmation, and in a few ways, this is already me. In some ways, I already embody aspects of these traits. And yet ... something was still not right, still absent. What? - the contribution to health in every way, of putting myself and my vision for myself first, almost using the self and all to value myself, who I am, what I am to become in such a way as to make decisions and set intent for this achievement - in a way, remove what is holding me back and put in place that which moves me forward. If I talk to someone and encourage them to know themselves and set direction from there, but I don't talk to them the way I talk to myself ... I am so different with them! I'm encouraging, I'm supportive, I'm positive ... and I'm not like this with myself. In fact, I think I often swirl around like a spin cycle and actually go nowhere, beating myself up more and more, not honouring the promises to myself, abandoning more than I achieve. So, in all the values I have listed, I need to add another: self-value
I found a term that encapsulates what I desire to aspire to - a high-value woman. It's not something that someone else labels you, it's something you set and work towards for yourself. Here are the traits I found online:
- know your worth
- self-love
- kind & compassionate
- commitment to growth
- self-awareness and empathetic
- maturity & wisdom
- openness
- passionate
- class
- self-care
- vulnerability
- know your principles or standards of behaviour that guide your life, follow through and done without exception.
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