22 of 100 ... Steppin' Out of the Rut!

Ok ... progress was made today!  The changes I did last night and throughout today as reaped a little bit of productive fruit!  Today, I'm almost more excited to record my steps than I am to note my moments of gratitude!  I am going to continue working my plan for the rest of the week and see if this continues.  It wasn't easy but if change happens, then it's worth it.


Moments of Gratitude
1.  Today I'm grateful for bringing my own lunch - there was a lunch truck that came to work today (selling poutine), and I had no problem avoiding going there because I had brought my own lunch and I was excited to try it!
2.  Today, I'm grateful for getting up early enough this morning to get ready, pull my food together and get out of home by 7:00 AM.  My treat to myself when I accomplish this is to stop at Starbucks for an Americano ... at least to be able to consider doing it! Because I can still get to work by 7:30 when I do this! (Today was an American day!)
3.  Today, I'm grateful for a positive day ... nothing really got me down or depressed or upset, so it was nice to be optimistic, even if the weather didn't support it!
4.  Today, I'm grateful for the little bamboo plant that was given to me as a gift.  I took it to work and every time I looked at it, I smiled.  I don't have any personal things in my cubicle so this little bamboo plant is the perfect touch!
5.  Today, I'm grateful for being able to go to bed by 9:30 again! 


Steps out of my Rut:
1. Cups of water: 6 
2. Activity: YES!    
3. Empty sink: YES!
4. Meals: YES!
5. Salad/Fruit: YES TO BOTH!!
6. Meds? and YES again!!!


Look at that!! What an awesome feeling!  I think this is the first time I've been able to do that since advancing the steps to 6!  And now, I gotta go prepare for another day of success tomorrow ... This is not going to happen by chance, but by deliberate choice and action.  I will sleep well tonight!

21 of 100 ... Reboot 2.0

Ok ... I spent time yesterday and today reflecting back over the last 20 days, looking at the days of 'success' and what might have contributed to them and looking at the days when I was not quite as successful.  I think I have determined a couple of possibilities as to why that happened, so I'm going to attempt to address them and see if there is any change over the next 4-7 days.  However, instead of looking that far ahead, I'm only going to look one day ahead at a time.  My thinking is that if I'm trying to establish new habits at the same time as removing unproductive ones, when the old ones are so ingrained, part of a script I've lived out for decades (sometimes consciously, but mostly unconsciously), it's best to start one bit at a time.  The starting energy only gets one so far, just like the honeymoon only lasts so long.  I'm refusing to focus on anything negative but instead make this about adding to my life.  So, this is still about adding ... adding consciously and deliberately, specifically and completely.


I am ready for tomorrow ... I pause and envision the day, in particular to my steps out of my rut.  I focus on those 6 items that are going to be part of my day tomorrow.  I've written them out.  I will envision the day again before I go to bed.  Tomorrow I will live what I envision today.


Gratitude Moments for Today:
1.  Today, I'm grateful for time to reflect and be sensitive to flags.
2.  Today, I'm grateful that I got home in time and had energy to prepare for tomorrow.
3.  Today, I'm grateful for being able to get to bed before 10 PM.  The more I can do this, the better all will go, I'm sure!
4.  Today, I'm grateful for the melting snow ... it's almost gone, again!
5.  Today, I'm grateful for a good day at work. 


Steps out of my Rut:
1. Cups of water: 3 (and some tea)  
2. Activity: no.   
3. Empty sink: yes.
4. Meals: no.
5.  Salad/Fruit: yes (the meal I had at work came with a salad.
6.  Meds? Yup!  (at least I end on a yes!!!)


Tomorrow ... watch the change!

20 of 100 ... Need for Something New

For Sunday, May 4, 2014


Well, this has been interesting.  Because of this journaling, I've been able to observe something that frequently become conscious of after a lot has passed and I'm experiencing the consequences.  The difference here, is that because of the journaling, I've been conscious and aware of what happens in the process.  I'm going to do a couple of changes starting tomorrow, and see if my awareness of this can also be part of the journey out of it. 


Gratitude Moments for Sunday
1.  Today, Sunday, I'm grateful for two free tickets from my friend GK for the Women's Show ... I enjoyed a fantastic day down at the BMO center. 
2.  Today, Sunday, I'm grateful for my friend TK coming with me to the Women's Show! I know she doesn't get out much and it was wonderful for two women who don't get out much to get out! and she completely enjoyed herself as well!
3.  Today, Sunday, I'm so grateful that my sister-in-law made it back from Radium to Calgary to get her plane back to London ON.  With all the snow we have received over the last weekend, I'm so so glad they made the trip safely!
4.  Today, Sunday, I am grateful for my friends back in Manitoba.  I would have loved to spend today with them, but it was not meant to be.  However, knowing that I was invited and imagining their gathering and that my name was mentioned at least once, I am so grateful that I am remembered.  I have learned so much about friendships and in my darker moments, I need to remember ALL of my friends.  For all the ones that have drifted away, for whatever reason, I am reminded today that I certainly am blessed with all the friends I have had ... AND all the friends I HAVE.
5.  Today, Sunday, I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn from my mistakes, to identify what the triggers are, to address them and change for the better.  Remember what I wrote at the top?  I guess somewhere in there, I did something I've always done ... now to do something different!  :-)


Steps out of the Rut
1. Cups of water: 6
2. Activity: walking from 1:30 to 5:00 at the Women's Show.   
3. Empty sink: yes.
4. Meals: no.
5.  Salad/Fruit:  no.
6.  Meds? Yup!  (at least I end on a yes!!!)


(No 10-Day celebration ... but intend to redeem myself for the first quarter recognition coming soon!)

19 of 100 ... Eek! And I slip ...

Not a proud day in this experiment ... something to learn from this, most certainly!


Gratitude Moments
1.  This is going to sound strange, but today, I'm grateful for the snow we received.  I'm grateful that it came AFTER Kris and Aiden came through (I'm concerned for their return tomorrow, but not going down that road now), and I'm grateful that we got one more beautiful, beautiful snowfall this year! BIG snowflakes, mild weather, fluffy accumulation ...
2.  Today, I'm grateful that I didn't HAVE to go anywhere today, so I stayed home.
3.  Today, I am grateful that I still have my winter tires! (missed my appointment yesterday ... kinda cool how an 'oops' can turn into a blessing!)
4.  Today, I'm grateful for not having to dress up or get ready for anyone or anything.  Sweats and t-shirt all day
5.  Today, I'm grateful for "mistakes" because there is such an opportunity to learn from those moments.  Talking about learning is one thing (awareness is important!), but taking action on it is where the rubber meets the road.  Yesterday, in conversation with BD, she share with me a wonderful understanding of the word "FAIL" ... an acronym, meaning "First Attempt In Learning".  And, that's how I want to take this first 20% of my experiment.  Lots of opportunity to learn ... and to see the learning of that in the next 20% of the experiment!


Steps out of the Rut
Not too many today. 
1. Cups of water: 4.
2. Activity: no.   
3. Empty sink: yes.
4. Meals: no.
5.  Salad/Fruit:  piece of fruit.
6.  Meds? Yup!  (at least I end on a yes!!!)


Definitely lessons to learn ... and from that, behaviour to change!

18 of 100 ... An Utterly Fantastic Day!

This is an entry for yesterday, Friday, May 2 ... starting to see a bit of a habit showing its face, right? Something that needs to be dealt with, for sure!


Yesterday, Friday, my DDO.  Oh my! A fantastic day from start to finish! And too many gratitude moments for this one entry ... so highlights only!


Gratitude Moments for Friday, May 2nd:
1.  Today (Friday), I'm incredibly grateful for being able to spend time with my sister-in-law and my nephew.  They stopped for coffee in between the flight from London to the drive to Radium for a funeral and I was able to spend about 90 min with them.  I honestly almost burst into tears when they walked up to Starbucks ... they were my family!
2.  Today (Friday... because I know what Saturday will bring), I'm incredibly grateful that they did not take me as a late appointment to get my winter tires changed!  Because of meeting my family, I got to my appointment about 45 min late, and they could not fit me in.  I wasn't upset at all (it was more important for me to stay with my family than to get the appointment), and was ready for whatever the consequences might be.  Now, knowing the snow we got on Saturday, I was incredibly blessed that my snow tires were not removed AND my summer tires are already in my car!!
3.  Today (Friday), I'm incredibly grateful for having lunch with a very special friend, GK.  Our chance meeting about 5 years ago has turned into one of those friendships I so treasure and appreciate and our lunches always end too soon! (It just makes me anticipate the next time, more!)
4.  Today (Friday), I'm incredibly grateful for having a bit of "me" time - perfect days are when I spend time with people I love and care about AND have a bit of personal time to pause and center.
5.  Today (Friday), I'm incredibly grateful to spend some time with an old, dear friend, BD. I've experienced friendships take a variety of paths over time and come to learn that all friendships do not take the same path they start on, they don't all take the path I expect them to, and value varies in so many ways. Some friends start in school and are dear and seem to become more valuable with time ... and this is one of them.  Any time I have spent with her in the last years has been time well spent, and Friday night was no different.  The 90 minutes flew by.  I want more 90 min like that ... not just one every year!


Steps out of my Rut:
Well, without focus, things continue to be on and, maybe a bit more on today:
1. Cups of water: 6.  At the restaurant with GK, I chose to start with water ... and never did order my coffee!  That was ok.
Activity: Not really.   
3. Empty sink: yes ... cleaned it out before bed!
4. Meals: Well ... When I ate, I chose to eat well.  I didn't really plan the day, but today was a day that really made me conscious of my need to plan this, at least when first starting to change habits!
5.  Salad/Fruit:  yes ... a kale salad for lunch and an apple for a late snack.
6.  Meds? Yup! 


And ... that's another day!

17 of 100 ... a Fantastic Day!

Yesterday (Thursday - May 1st) was fantastic! And, I tried to post Wednesday's entry from work.  I can get on the blog, I can write the title, but I can't post anything.  Odd.  As the day went, I didn't get home until around 11:30ish, and with all I needed to get done today, I chose to head to bed, knowing that I'd have 'pockets' of time where I could get this done today.  Like now - sitting in Starbucks, waiting for Kris to come! ... That will be part of my Gratitude for Today ... Entry #18.


So, yesterday ... May 1st ... I think in part my bumpy road right now is due to a lack of focus.  Yes, I was feeling like crap and that doesn't help in the best of times, but now that it's passed, I can feel the determination has set in to overcome this, and make this work.  After all, "if it is to be, it's up to me!"


Gratitude Moments for Thursday, May 1st:
1.  Today I'm grateful for the fantastic weather!  Oh, what a difference beautiful weather makes!
2.  Today, I'm grateful for a short work week ... every so often, we get Friday off.  Working 9 hours a day has a pay-off!  Wish that happened when I was teaching!
3.  Today, I'm grateful for being warm ... not because of the weather, but because this flu bug has passed!  Things don't hurt as much, I can concentrate, the world is new!!
4.  Today, I'm grateful for spending time with my friend KA ... I wanted to see a local production of Pirates of Penzance last weekend and didn't have time.  As it turned out, KA had time 'tonight' and we had a lovely evening - dinner on a patio (oh glorious weather!) and a fantastic production! Lots of genuine laughs, a great cast, and well done!
5.  Today, I'm particularly grateful for my former students.  I was standing with KA (a former student) talking to KG (a cast member and former Mainstager/student) and realized that JH (now JL) ... another former student ... was the choreographer for the show.  In that moment, I loved my students so much! and am so grateful for all they added to my life!  I miss them fiercely and know this is something that I need to address. There was a lot in that moment that kind of crashed into me, a nudge that tells me I have to do something. 


Steps out of my Rut:
Well, without focus, things were a hit-and-miss again.
1. Cups of water: 4 ... I realized on the patio that I shouldn't have ordered the coffee, because it interfered with drinking my water! 
2. Activity: Not really.  the bit of walking I did sure reminded me that I need to do this! 
3. Empty sink: yes ... easy when you're not home!
4. Meals: ate great at work ... according to my plan .. .and actually had a good dinner as well!  So ... all I need to do is record it and that would be a success!
5.  Salad/Fruit:  Yup on both accounts! Greek salad for lunch and an orange for a later snack.
6.  Meds? Yup! 


I guess not a complete wash ... but enough that I need to get my ducks in a row. 


Now, on to the weekend!  Let's see what we can achieve!  And ... they're here!!

16 of 100 ... Not the best but chance to learn

Two days late!  And with good reason ... (what is the difference between a 'reason' and an 'excuse'?  I prefer to think that these are reasons ...


I figure, I'll deal with one day at a time.  This is for WEDNESDAY - April 30.  Last day of the month.  I was not feeling well, and was a bit afraid I was getting sick.  The usual: severe body aches, headache, sniffles, chills ... I got home from work, took a shower to warm up and went straight to bed.  I couldn't afford to be sick from work so this was my 'prescription' for myself.


My entry for Wednesday is as follows: (written yesterday at work)

Wednesday was a tough evening – I think I’m coming down with something.  I hate it when this happens – everything hurts, I’m cold and I don’t want to do anything.  I’m afraid my results will show that.  I’m writing this for last night (Wed) … and I will say that I’m feeling a bit better today.  Hopefully my results later will show that, too!

Gratitude Moments

1.       Today (Wednesday), I am grateful for a beautiful day.  Rumour has it that weather will change and so to appreciate when the weather is beautiful is more important, I think, than complaining when it’s not! 

2.        Today (Wednesday), I’m grateful for getting a text from my sister-in-law this morning!  She’s coming through on Friday and I’m so glad I can meet her for coffee! I’m thrilled that she could find a little bit of time to meet (and I’m so grateful that I’m not working on Friday so meeting her is completely possible!!)!

3.       Today (Wednesday), I’m grateful for a warm shower and a warm bed.  As mentioned, I was so cold so having a way to get warm was a definitely time of gratitude! The shower was enough to take the cold edge off and then a beeline to the bed, and I was able to get warm! Thank you!

4.       Today (Wednesday), I’m grateful for my finances being ok for today.  There’s no excess, but for today, I’m ok. 

5.       Today (Wednesday), I’m grateful for drugs that work!  Muscle pain killers, headache Tylenol … I was able to be productive in the day because I was able to cut the pain!                                                                                                                                                

Steps out of the Rut

1.       Cups of water:  I had 3 cups of water today.  (wonder if that has anything to do with the flu??)

2.       Activity: Not today (I have 3 days left to the week! … I better make good!)

3.       Empty sink: yes

4.       Meals: no … dashed off without taking lunch.

5.       Salad/fruit: I did take snacks … so I did have vegetables and fruit to nibble on.

6.       Meds: yes

See?  Definitely needing to pick this up!  To ponder:  how can I continue to experience success when I am not feeling well?  When all I want to do is go to bed and get warm?  And, it is definitely obvious that I have to have some sort of a plan (and focus!) in place for when I come home from work.